Sundays at church usually consisted of singing boring hymnals, wearing itchy dresses, and ignoring bible lessons while I wrote in Mom’s word puzzles. It was also seeing my father cry at the altar and the church refusing to baptize me when I was scared I was going to hell. Recently moving to the South, I was thrown back into the culture surrounding Christianity forcing me to reflect on the memories surrounding my religious upbringing. Using iconography through gesture, location, and costuming, they represent the god-fearing experience of my childhood.
This experience was full of feelings of guilt, panic, doubt, desperation, and hopelessness I faced. I am not sure if I can completely heal, and I doubt that I will ever feel welcome in church again. This project allows me the chance to face all the pain I went through as a kid and find some semblance of peace. This series is not necessarily a critique on religion as a whole, but an indictment of the corruption and morals that leaders indoctrinate their followers with. My experience is one of many that symbolize the conflict between rebellion and obedience whilst growing up in the church.
